How To Make A Long-Distance Relationship Work


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Let’s just start off by saying the obvious — long distance relationships suck. Don’t let anyone fool you. Long-distance relationships are hard to make work and they can drain you emotionally, mentally, and physically. But when you find someone who is worth it, you are determined to make it work. So that leaves a very big question — how? How are you supposed to both feel happy and satisfied in your relationship with hundreds of miles between you? Although there is no formula for making sure your relationship will go the distance, there are a few things you can do to make it easier for both parties and help give you more assurance that your relationship can overcome long-distance.

And believe me when I say I know what it’s like. As some of you may know, Greer and I were long-distance for 3 years and we still have a semi-long-distance relationship going to this day. He is gone during the week and is home on the weekends. In our 4.5 years of dating, we’ve spent almost 4 of them apart. Although I’m grateful I get to see him more than I use to, I can’t remember the last time I saw him on a Tuesday night after work. It just doesn’t happen for us. I’ll be honest and tell you that it does get easier as time goes on. Eventually, it becomes your normal. But mentally and emotionally, you know something isn’t okay. So it does eventually become easier, but it never becomes right. Especially if you know it’s the person you want to be with for the rest of your life. Especially if it’s the person that you never want to say goodbye to, but it ends up being the person you say it to the most. So if that’s anything like how you feel, you’re not alone.

How to make a long distance relationship work

After 8 months of dating, he took a job 8 hours away. From the moment he accepted the job, we knew that we were dead set on making it work. Here are the things we did to do so:

 

Set The Right Expectations

Although it sounds very professional, expectations can make or break your long-distance relationship. For us, we told each other that we would talk to each other EVERY DAY. And I mean talk. We didn’t just text — we also picked up the phone at least once a day to check on each other, talk about our days, etc. Being able to hear his voice and talk to him made the distance seem a lot smaller. It was also nice that we knew what was going on in each other’s lives. We were never behind on what the other person had going on at work, school, etc.

Another expectation that we set was how often we were going to see each other. We wanted to see each other twice a month. For some of you and the distance you’re facing, that might be more difficult. But with our twice a month plan, we agreed that I would travel to PA once a month for a weekend and he would come down to NC for a weekend. For the most part, it worked out pretty well. Since I was still in school, I definitely made a few more trips than he did because it was easier for me to set my school schedule (yes, I worked my classes out to where I didn’t have any classes on Fridays or Mondays) around it. We also agreed that each time we saw each other, we would plan out the next time we would see each other. This made it so much easier to leave him in PA because I had an exact “next time” to see him.

How to make a long distance relationship work

With setting expectations, you both need to be on the same page. Set expectations for each other and set goals for your relationship and the time you spend together. It definitely clears the air in any long-distance relationships and gives them a good foundation to stand upon.

 

Place Utmost Importance on Time You Spend Together

Although this may seem like an obvious one, it’s something I imagine a lot of long-distance relationships don’t put enough emphasis on. Whether you get to spend a day together or a week together, give your significant other your attention, time, and love the entire time you’re together. This means not inviting a ton of your friends over, all wanting your attention, while you’re SO is in town. Try to avoid making appointments or prior engagements when your significant other is planning on visiting. I promise you that your boyfriend or girlfriend will greatly appreciate that you are focusing on them in the short time you are together.

 

Make Time For Each Other Even When You’re Apart

One of the things we did to make time for each other while we were 500 miles apart was FaceTime and watch a show or movie together. Timing out when we both hit the play button was a art the we perfected after awhile, but it was nice to just relax and watch a movie together. Some of the times, we would even make the same dinner and watch a movie together. This worked for us really well, so try to think of somethings that you both would be interested in. The best part about it was it was something we would’ve done together if we were in the same room, but we were still able to do it apart. But making time like this for each other is very important to making you both feel comfortable and happy in your relationship.

How to make a long distance relationship work

These three little tips really helped us with our relationship and making it go the extra mile. I would totally recommend these tips to any of you in a long-distance relationship. If your relationship can make it through the distance, it only makes you stronger when you’re back together. But until then, just know that you’re not alone and you can make your relationship work with a little extra effort. It’ll be worth it — it definitely was for us.

Do you have any tips and tricks on making a long-distance relationship thrive? Please share!

 

XO –

Annena

how to make a long-distance relationship work

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